Remembering Gabriel

"Seek the Lord and His strength, seek His presence continually." ~Psalm 105:4

This verse means so much to me, especially after this past week. Our faith, family, and friends are helping us through this sad time. We can feel God's presence, His loving arms holding us as we adjust to life without our sweet Gabriel. Thank you for all the prayers; they mean so much to us.

I wanted to share a few of the things we have to remember baby Gabriel. We were given precious time to hold our baby and say good-bye. He was gently bathed and clothed in a little bunting, then wrapped in a handmade baby blanket.

This priceless card was given to us by the nurses, after they made prints of Gabriel's beautiful hands and feet.

Gordon, Grayson, and Gabriel's footprints

How I long to hold these little hands again....

So tiny, so perfect

We have not yet gotten back the photos taken by a volunteer professional photographer, provided to us by an amazing foundation called Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep: http://http//www.nowilaymedowntosleep.org/

The service they provide to grieving parents is priceless.

Once we receive the photos, I will share them here.

These are photos taken by the nurses. I edited them to focus on Gabriel's perfect feet, hands and face.

I wanted to share images of our beautiful baby Gabriel; we love him so much and wish we'd had the chance to see him grow up. These photos have helped me through some of the toughest moments in the past week. The hardest time for me is after the distractions of the day are gone, and all is quiet at night. I find comfort in being alone with Gabriel's memory, holding his blanket, and looking at his photos and tiny hand and footprints.

Gabriel was clearly starting to resemble his older brothers. I thank God for the time Gary and I had to hold him and say good-bye.

I will always love this sweet baby of ours. He will forever be a special part of our family. We are so blessed to have Gordon and Grayson in our lives ~ their hugs and smiles are incredibly healing.

Gary took beautiful photos too. This is one of his, above.

Our baby boy was perfectly designed by God, perfectly healthy. You may be wondering what happened, why did our baby die in the 4th month of pregnancy. On December 31, I was diagnosed with a subchorionic hemorrhage, a small blood clot in my blood vessels supplying blood to the placenta. We were encouraged to learn this is not uncommon, rarely does it result in miscarriage. Unfortunately, the bleeding and clotting got worse in our case. The clots became so large that they gradually separated the placenta from the uterine wall, cutting off Gabriel's supply of oxygen and nutrition. Our doctor assured us that he didn't suffer, just fell asleep and slipped away. I'm so disappointed that my body failed to support this precious life inside me, though I know there was nothing anyone could do. It's just so heartbreaking that he was growing and developing so perfectly healthy. I feel so empty now, but each day I feel stronger, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. All of this in in God's hands, and He is my comfort. He is cradling our baby Gabriel, and we'll see him again in Heaven.